Chapter: Lament
Rating: PG | T
Pairing/Character/s: Byakuya + Renji, Senbonzakura
Word Count: 6,160
Warning/s: Spoilers. Angst.
Summary: With a little nudge from Senbonzakura, Byakuya finally begins to cope with all that his past that can threaten his present.
A/N: Picking up from last chapter, no time has passed. Senbonzakura is a very good therapist... poor emo sword.
"Be open to your dreams, people. Embrace that distant shore.
Because our mortal journey is over all too soon."
- David Assael
Waiting until both occupants were fully asleep, Senbonzakura carefully curled itself about Byakuya's consciousness, drawing it deeper and awakening it elsewhere; a world of bleached colors and plants just beginning to bloom, attempting to flourish around its two sole inhabitants. The sword spirit took a step back from its charge, arms crossing in its sleeves as it waited for the man to realize and acknowledge where he was.
Blinking away the initial blurriness from his eyes, Byakuya slowly focused on his surroundings and frowned. His eyes swung quickly to Senbonzakura, but the initial irritation present in grey-blue was not in his voice. "I hope you have a good reason for this," the noble muttered, and spared another glance around the realm. "Seeing as I was quite content where I was."
"You are still there," Sen pointed out despite knowing it was pointless to do so. "You need to speak with him openly, Kuchiki-sama," the zanpakutou stated bluntly, forgoing its usual methods in favor of what seemed to be working better lately.
Byakuya bit back a somewhat snide remark to the former comment, and then focused on the latter with a sideways glance to the sword spirit. "I have been doing so far more often. What else do you think deserves my attention?" It never crossed the noble's mind that the issue from the night before was still just that - an issue. He assumed it over and done with, and Renji's jealousy along with it.
"You have not. Whenever you speak with him it's through layers. He can only prod so much before you change the subject and he has no control over it." The sword sighed, red eyes watching Byakuya closely. "You have no balance. No matter how hard he fights, or how much he cares, or how hard he tries, you never see him as an equal. He'll never push you out of your comfort zone because of this... he's scared to death of losing you and it's as plain as his reactions last night. You're a fool for not seeing it or thinking it solved already."
Not bothering to bite back his anger, the noble's eyes narrowed sharply, frosting over his gaze. "I do not appreciate being analyzed yet again. I am tired of this, Senbonzakura." His hand reached out and caught the zanpakutou by the chin, snatching his head up slightly so the spirit had to look at him. "I am not a fool," Byakuya stated lowly, "and I most certainly understand what I am doing." His fingers dug into the pale skin as he almost hissed, "Why would I allow him the opportunity to push me? I see how much he cares, how scared he is, but what else am I supposed to do other than that? I cannot allow it. You, of all beings, should know the reasons for that by now!"
A tremor went through the zanpakutou's form, though whether from fear or anger, neither could be quite sure. To his credit, however, Senbonzakura's face belied neither, remaining calm. "You believe you cannot allow it only because of your own fear," the sword spirit answered steadily. "You will only push him away. He will remain with you because he's too far involved now to let go of you, but he will be distant and you will have destroyed the very things in him which you seek." The faint touch of phantasmal bindings slid over the creature’s skin, yet was ignored.
"I am not afraid -” the words came sharply, but Byakuya cut them off quickly as his mind vehemently argued otherwise. A soft sound of irritation fled the noble's lips and his hand dropped from the sword's face to his shoulder instead, gripping tightly, his eyes still ablaze with a mix of anger and frustration. "If you know me so well, then what is it that I seek? Because even I do not know!"
Senbonzakura's gaze softened slightly as he watched the shinigami before him. "You once told me you were afraid to depend on my insights. It is my wish to help you, but in this matter, it may be better if you were honest with yourself instead of waiting for me to tell you."
The noble's eyes flickered with frustration once more before he looked away, his hand dropping from the spirit's shoulder. A defeated sigh escaped him as he realized he was caught by his own words quite efficiently. He could not, would not ask for Senbonzakura's insight - and yet, the prospect of being 'honest with himself' both worried him and perplexed him. What, exactly, was he not being honest about? The sword must have been referring to whatever it was that kept dragging him back to Renji, despite his urges to resist sometimes and push the redhead away. That revelation did him little good, however, as Byakuya certainly did not understand whatever it was.
Defying his usual composure, Byakuya raked a hand back through his hair, his features a mix of exasperation and confusion. "...I apologize," he said, voice settling back into its normal calm tone, "but I do not know... if I can be honest with myself, or rather, what I'm supposed to be honest about..." The noble shook his head. "I barely understand Renji as it is, let alone what... draws me to him so strongly."
The zanpakutou bowed its head slightly, silently accepting both the apology and the answer. "It is much simpler than you seek to make it," Sen advised, still calm despite how the world shifted to accommodate Byakuya's drastically changing emotions. "It is not a matter of understanding; it is a matter of accepting. The only issue of understanding that is between you both is when you expect him to know, accept or understand something that is obviously far from clear to him."
Frowning, Byakuya turned his gaze away from his zanpakutou in thought. He brushed aside the idea of 'accepting' for the moment, favoring a slightly easier topic of conversation. "...When I expect him to know," the noble echoed quietly, his frown deepening. "You allude to yesterday night. That subject has not been brought up since; he gave no further word of concern toward our relationship. If he has not, then why should I not expect him to understand the situation?"
"It's hardly been a few hours, Kuchiki-sama..." Sen sighed a bit, pausing to collect his thoughts. "He's not going to bring it up unless he has to. It would be better if you did. Or you could allow me to speak with him as well."
"...I will bring it up," the noble relented, albeit reluctantly. He was wary of allowing Senbonzakura to speak to Renji; he trusted his sword, but the zanpakutou may let out a bit more than Byakuya was comfortable with. "Though I do not understand why he is so... upset about this situation..."
"How long have you been aware of me, Kuchiki-sama? How long have we known and spoken with one another?" the sword spirit asked by way of answering.
Byakuya blinked, the allowed a small shrug. "A very long while; I do not know the exact timeframe. What does it matter?"
"It matters because it has been far longer than you've known Renji, let alone been in a relationship with him. He's intimidated by that and how well we interact. Who else does he know whom you have held as you do me? Who else knows you as well as I?" Red eyes lidded partially, almost saddening. "He has seen how we are together and it frightens him because it is not something he has with you. He knows now that I am here when he is not and is afraid I will take you from him because of this."
"He should know by now that the relationship I have with him is more than something I could simply toss away," Byakuya argued. Briefly, a surge of passion flared his words, which was already looser and freed by his previous outbursts. "You are my confidant but there is no way you could possibly tear him and I apart." The words echoed in Byakuya's mind and a cold wash of realization fell over the stubborn arguments he had been trying to form. He had never said anything of the sort to Renji, let alone implied it through his actions. No wonder his lover didn't 'know by now.' Suddenly weary, the noble shut his eyes and silently agreed with Senbonzakura's previous statement - 'You are a fool.'
Knowing instinctively how Byakuya's emotions had shifted, Senbonzakura moved closer and gently laid his hand aside Byakuya's face. "I know my place, he does not," the spirit echoed the noble's thoughts.
Without opening his eyes, Byakuya leaned into the cool touch. "I will speak to him," he murmured, heaving out a soft sigh but sounding far less reluctant than before. "I do not wish for this to come between us."
The zanpakutou nodded softly, settling its reiatsu around Byakuya soothingly. "I apologize for upsetting you. If you do not wish my further involvement, I will step aside." Sen tried to keep the pain of his words from coming through, maintaining a calm, steady tone.
Senbonzakura's spirit energy calmed him, settling the noble's riled temperament and otherwise frayed nerves. A twinge of guilt went through Byakuya's mind as he sensed the pain more than he heard it. Rarely did he lose his temper, and to do so to the spirit that was only trying to help him was uncalled for. If only his stubborn mind would admit to such revelations sooner rather than later. The man sighed, leaned forward, and compulsively kissed the zanpakutou, cutting off his last words and murmuring against his lips, "I will tell you when you need to step aside. Now is not the time."
"I ask you now because you only tell me to step aside when I intervene," the sword spirit murmured and returned the kiss gently. The pale hand against Byakuya's cheek curled slightly and then slowly dropped. Red eyes lidded and then closed entirely as Senbonzakura turned to the side and broke their contact. "I should return you to your rest," he spoke softly, taking a step back as ethereal bindings pressed tighter to his skin, constricting as an unseen serpent.
Reaching out, Byakuya caught the spirit's hand as it dropped. His fingers curled about the pale wrist and pulled Senbonzakura back toward him, resting a hand against his lower back with a light pressure to keep him from pulling away again. "I was angry before, but I did not tell you to step aside. I told you I disliked being analyzed and I do - because you are much better at it than I am... when it comes to myself." The noble sighed, catching the spirit's chin and tilting his head up. "I will remedy the problems between Renji and I... but you know that. What is troubling you, then?"
Senbonzakura stiffened initially, trying not to react any further to the shinigami's touch. Red eyes opened again as Byakuya turned his head to once more match gazes. Inwardly, he scolded himself for ever having let it come to this, but he knew the futility of such a gesture. Not only was it far too late for thoughts of that nature, but there was also no way he could deny his charge. He'd known this and chosen to move forward. He knew it would be like this. He accepted it. "I apologize; it was not my intention to worry you," the zanpakutou answered, calmly ignoring the increase of pressure. He silently thanked Byakuya's inability to see clearly for the first time in his existence, glad that the noble could not view the chains wrapping about him.
A frown slowly reappeared upon the noble's features. "You only worry me more by not giving me an explanation," he chided gently, his thumb brushing absently over Senbonzakura's jaw. "This is not like you," Byakuya added, catching the spirit's eyes with his own and firmly keeping his visage locked upon his zanpakutou's. There was little doubt of the pain the sword was feeling, but Byakuya could not pinpoint its cause, nor could he alleviate it. He knew he must be the cause, and silently berated himself for only hurting yet another person.
Another tremor shook Sen's slim frame, emotion building with no outlet the longer Byakuya held him in place. "Please... forgive my weakness in this, Kuchiki-sama," the spirit answered cryptically, voice shaking slightly as he found himself unable to look away and just barely capable of stemming a flow of tears attempting to paint his cheeks. He was supposed to be strong. He had to be.
His frown deepened, and automatically, Byakuya drew the other's trembling form closer. "I have no reason to forgive when I have yet to understand at what I should have taken offense," he said quietly, circling his arm about Senbonzakura's waist as he held him. The noble's slender hand brushed across the spirit's porcelain cheek, noting the brimming of tears and becoming increasingly worried. He didn't realize he had upset the spirit this much, let alone which action had caused this sudden display.
Unable to resist, the sword spirit sank into Byakuya's embrace, and closed his eyes against the man's touch. Tears slipped past his eyelids even as he smiled shakily. "You are far too kind, Kuchiki-sama," Senbonzakura spoke softly. "I fear I shall always attach myself to that kindness as I do your love and peace, forever a leech on upon your happiness. For this I apologize, because I am too weak to stop."
Sighing softly with realization, the shinigami bent his head and pressed his lips against the top of the spirit's cheek, catching a tear beneath the kiss, tasting the sword's pain and concern rather than just the salt of his tears. "You will not be a leech upon my happiness... and I will not deny you kindness." Byakuya ran his fingers soothingly down the length of Senbonzakura's spine, his voice dropping to a lower tone, "I understand you fear what consequences that could have upon my relationship with Renji, but I will deal with the situation accordingly. You are both my savior and my servant... but you are also..." The noble paused. "...a dear companion. I refuse to push you away."
Sagging against the shinigami, Sen dropped his head against Byakuya's shoulder, trying to get a better control on his emotions. "I am your blade," he whispered, breath lingering against the noble's throat. "It is my charge to protect and guide you... You are not... required... to return the love I hold for you." Almost immediately Senbonzakura regretted his careless wording. Of all things he could have said, it was that wording which was most likely to draw an ill reaction from his companion. Stilling entirely, the spirit braced himself for Byakuya's response.
Noticeably stiffening, the noble's hand stilled against the sword spirit's back. The word 'love' shook him, but he managed to draw in a slightly unsteady breath and keep his emotions intact. Gently, Byakuya's hands slid to his zanpakutou's shoulders, holding him a few inches away so he could look him in the eye again. "I will not... cannot express such emotions for you as you may feel for me." With a shaky sigh, the captain briefly glanced down, regaining his composure enough to continue. "However... that does not mean... that I cannot still care for you. It would be untruthful of me to express anything otherwise."
He went silent after those words, but his mind did not. The first thought was that he should feel anger that Senbonzakura could say such words as love so easily around him with the knowledge of how it affected him; yet, it was the first time he had heard the word in many years, and a part of him stirred and tried to understand the emotion once again. The action was quickly halted by another thought, a thought that deemed the emotion of love only damaging, only a liability, as it had been before. Despite the hazard associated with it... the vocalization of that particular word also reminded him of what good it brought to his life, and in the process, Byakuya had to repress the sudden longing that came with it. Knowing the thought must have been written clearly across his face, the man glanced away.
More distraught over Byakuya's reaction than any of the words specifically aimed at him, Senbonzakura quickly placed his hands on either side of Byakuya's face, keeping their gazes locked. "You have every right to be angry with me, Kuchiki-sama. That was unbelievably careless of me. You have my sincerest apologies for not choosing a better vernacular. My intent was only to state that my emotions in your regard need not be emulated. What kindnesses you have bestowed on me are something I cherish, but I know my place and will not overstep its bounds. You have my word."
Instead of pulling away from the touch and distancing himself as he normally would, the noble put in a sound effort to stay where he was, but struggled in maintaining eye contact. "...I am not angry with you." He raised one hand from the spirit's shoulder and placed it on top of one of the cool hands that touched his own cheek as Byakuya leaned into it slightly, his eyes lidding. "And I trust your word. I am just..." A soft sigh accompanied the slight tightening of his fingers against Senbonzakura's. "...unsure of why that word bothers me so."
Senbonzakura gave a sad, knowing smile. "What have you to attach it to, Kuchiki-sama?" His left hand bent slightly, gently running a thumb over Byakuya's cheekbone.
Byakuya's eyes slid shut the rest of the way and his head turned, lips brushing the zanpakutou's wrist as he leaned into the light caress. "... I... don't even know... how to think about it," he admitted, "let alone anything else." He sighed again, chest heaving gently. Perhaps it wasn't as much of not knowing as it was that his mind was too tangled and confused to sort through his thoughts coherently. "I could use your insight in this matter, Senbonzakura."
"I ask you forgive this offense to your family, but they have done you nothing but harm in this matter," the sword spirit replied softly. "Because of this you have nothing but fragments of absolutes and no real knowledge of the subject. You do not need that, however. Love is not something you understand, it is something you feel. You must remember this feeling, Kuchiki-sama, for it never went away, you only tried to push it aside when loneliness accompanied it." A pale hand slipped from the side of the noble's face and moved down to wrap around his waist and pull them close once more.
"It's all right to feel lonely, and it's okay to grieve... and most of all, it's okay to love. You balk at the word because you force yourself to. It's conditioned. You need to let yourself relax. Remember the good with the bad... This isn't a matter of your family and what they think or what they told you you should think. Part of living is being selfish, Kuchiki-sama. For once in your life, think of yourself first."
Unable to resist the sword's tug, Byakuya slid into the other's embrace and rested his head upon the other's shoulder. His head tipped to the side, burying into Senbonzakura's hair and breathing in the heavy perfume of sakura, allowing the scent to slowly settle his nerves enough to speak again. "I... am afraid to remember it," the noble said softly, his eyes shutting tightly. "If I remember it... and the good and the bad..." Byakuya felt his chest tighten with the words, and a tremor run through him. "... I never let myself grieve before... and I haven't been able to put love to a name for a long time. What will I tell him if..." Trailing off, the shinigami's fingers curled into the silk of Senbonzakura's robe, staying there as he fell silent.
Senbonzakura bade the air to envelop them in the soothing aroma and gently massaged Byakuya's lower back. "Speak your mind," the spirit coaxed gently, laying his other hand on the back of the noble's head, stroking his hair gently.
The noble wanted to protest and say that he would do no such thing - that no good could come out of it, that he'd just upset himself and then Renji would have to deal with it... but the words wouldn't come, and he couldn't make them. What came instead was a hitching, defeated sigh, wherein he leaned further against the spirit, his voice half-muffled because of how he buried his face into Senbonzakura's neck. "I could not allow myself the... luxury... of grieving her death," he began softly. "You know my family's response - 'good riddance.'" Byakuya let out a soft, sardonic snort. "After so long... I am not sure I could give her the proper respect by mourning. Hisana... would not want me to linger; I've decided that much.
"I am just... at a loss. She would not want me to continue in this way I am, but... I cannot think of her without... pain." The noble's eyes closed tightly then. "I cannot think of the good without the bad and I cannot expect you... or Renji... to continually deal with that." After a short pause, Byakuya dropped his voice to a whisper, "I am weak for not being able to cope for this on my own. For not being able to... remember... without grieving. I want..." With a heavy exhalation of breath, the remainder of Byakuya's thoughts poured out in a rush. "...I want to be with Renji as I once was with her, but I could never be when I am like this. It isn't fair to him and I tire of hurting him as I have."
The sword spirit exhaled softly. "Kuchiki Byakuya, the problem is not that you are too weak, but rather too strong. You are entirely too good at shouldering responsibilities and 'dealing'. You have shown neither Renji nor myself any of this and he is at more of a disadvantage than I given he has no innate ability to sense your feelings. If you truly wish to move beyond this and be with him... then speak with Renji, not only me."
"That is much easier said than done," Byakuya murmured dryly, not lifting his head from the spirit's shoulder. "I can barely gauge when to speak on something like this with you... Let alone with him. And I am not sure how he would react to all of this..."
"He has had a hard life; I imagine that would make him rather empathetic to your pains." Senbonzakura answered immediately, still holding the shinigami close. "And if you never approach him about it, you will never give him the chance to prove he can handle it."
Heaving a sigh, the noble nodded slowly, not in favor of an argument at the moment. "...All right." Reluctantly, Byakuya slipped from Senbonzakura’s arms, his lips brushing over the sword's cheek as he did so. "Thank you."
A soft smile spread across Sen's lips, gladdened that Byakuya had taken his words to heart. "Knowing you've spoken with him will be my thanks," he offered, brushing the noble's cheek affectionately.
"Then I will be sure to speak with him," Byakuya reassured gently, although he was not very sure of his words. Somehow, he'd manage; if he did not, it would rest upon his mind until he did. "Will you send me back?" he softly queried with an absent nuzzle into the hand that touched his cheek.
"Of course.... And enjoy yourself, Kuchiki-sama." Senbonzakura replied lightly, and then silently returned the man to his rest.
Once returned, Byakuya automatically stirred. He shifted against the warm body pressed so closely to his own and cracked open an eye. Wincing slightly as he realized how tangled against Renji he had become, Byakuya shifted back just slightly, unwinding his fingers from Renji's hair and his arms from his waist. The noble sighed, running an absent hand down the redhead's chest. "How am I supposed to bring up any of this?" the noble murmured to himself, voice low and wavering from sleep.
It had been hard to fall back asleep even given the weary state his body had been in. For Renji, early mornings and fast awakenings were as much instinct as survival - something he could never quite knock out of his system no matter how hard he tried. So he'd settled down with the intent to relax for a bit at least. He wouldn't complain about being allowed to curl against Byakuya and simply enjoy the other man's presence for a bit.
It came as a bit of a surprise, then, when the noble shifted their positions, murmuring something unintelligible as he all but clung to the confused redhead. This was certainly new. Byakuya obviously enjoyed being in contact - that much Renji'd managed to pick up on his own, but the elder most certainly did not cling to him. In fact, it was usually the other way around, though he disliked thinking of it in that manner.
So when the noble began to wake a short time later, the redhead had been fully prepared to feign sleep. That was, of course, until he'd made out Byakuya's mumbled questionings. He blinked and glanced down at the other man. "Bring up what?" he thoughtlessly questioned.
Jerking back mostly from surprise, the noble found himself instantly wide awake and even a little flustered to be caught holding onto Renji so tightly. Well - at least this was one way to start the conversation. For that, Byakuya silently thanked Renji. It did, however, take quite a bit of effort to keep back the automatic 'Nothing of importance' response that he had grown so accustomed. Instead, he forced himself to push forward and speak before he lost the ability to do so.
"...A number of things," the older man said carefully as he resettled against Renji and leaned his head against his chest. "Last night, to begin with." Byakuya lifted his eyes, meeting Renji's a bit warily, but at least he was able to do so. "I am sorry it... worried you so much." He drew in a slow breath before adding in a lower tone, "Senbonzakura will not take me from you... Nothing will."
Shock seemed a little too soft a word for what the redhead experienced just then. It was just one thing after another over the last few hours... Peripherally, an honest concern for the noble's mental state settled into place. Renji wrapped Byakuya in a warm embrace, wondering what in the world had sparked the man into speaking so plainly, but equally grateful for it. A tension he hadn't noticed before slowly melted from his body. Finding the words to reply came easier than he'd anticipated.
"... 'course not; I wouldn't let it happen," he answered gruffly, tightening his hold a bit. Sure, he'd been worried... maybe even scared, but Byakuya of all people should know he wouldn't go down without a fight.
Relief that Renji had accepted his words made the noble relax a fraction in his lover's arms. He slid closer, responding to the tightening of the redhead's hold. "I should not have expected anything less than that." Byakuya's lips absently brushed the curve of Renji's shoulder and he allowed a small sigh to escape. The next topic was more difficult and he could not find the words to say. The thought of Hisana always jumbled his thoughts, and even more so, the thought of being with Renji like he once was with her... it made him stop in his tracks, and almost completely freeze up as he tried to not drop the conversation so soon.
"And there is... another thing," he managed quietly.
Renji frowned lightly, not missing the way Byakuya all but locked up. His hands slid down the noble's back, massaging the tense muscles there in a hope that it would help the man relax. The enormity of whichever topic his lover was attempting to breach worried the redhead, for Byakuya did not hesitate saving the times when he honestly could not express himself. Given the rarity of that, the younger man had an inkling of what was weighing on the mind of his patrician lover, but the why eluded him. It was the reason, however, that worried him more than the thought itself. Still, he had to deal with each in their own time and right now, that meant easing Byakuya's nerves so he could speak his mind.
"Take yer time," he murmured soothingly, "I'll wait."
A long sigh sent a shudder through the noble's body and compulsively, he clutched at the younger man. His eyes shut tightly as his voice fell to a whisper, his body not relaxing an inch. "Forgive me... I never gave myself the chance to grieve and though I do not wish for you to deal with it..." Byakuya's breath hitched and his body forcefully clamped down against anything stronger than that escaping. "...You are the only person I trust to be like this around," he admitted softly. "And I cannot... think of any other way to hold you in the esteem as I once did her... than to simply let her go..." The noble's fingers curled into Renji's skin, almost biting into the flesh. "You are the only face I want to see in my dreams. Not Hisana, not anyone else. Just you."
A long silence followed Byakuya's words, Renji needing the time to process and let their weight truly sink in. He realized on some level that he needed to reply to the noble, but it was taking a monumental effort just to keep pulling himself free of shock. He closed his eyes and curled around the other man, holding him close. It was strange and almost frightening to have his worth so suddenly and firmly established at a time he was least prepared to hear anything of the sort.
"... You can let her go, but you don't have to erase her, Byakuya," he finally managed softly. "You don't have ta... replace her, and I don't expect ya to." A strong, but gentle hand stroked the back of Byakuya's head in a soothing gesture. "I've lost a lotta people close ta me," he explained quietly, empathizing with the older man, "and there have been others who took ... similar roles... but I never forgot them. Ya can't try to replace 'em... because no one will ever be someone else.... But it's okay to feel the same way again with someone else... it's okay ta let go. Just... keep movin' forward."
The shinigami said nothing, but trembled in Renji's arms and tried to almost hide himself against the redhead. He couldn't replace Hisana, he knew that; but he had to keep her out of his mind, somehow, someway. He had to focus on the fact that Renji was here and Hisana certainly was not and never would be again. "I am trying to move forward," Byakuya quietly said after a long moment's pause. "I just... want to move beyond all of this... and be with you, not a memory."
"... It feels so good ta' hear you say that..." Renji breathed, maintaining their tight embrace. "But yer makin' it sound like ya don't already have me," he added lightly. "I'm not going anywhere... I promise you that. Ya don't have to worry 'bout lettin' go, 'cuz I'll always be here ta' catch you."
Letting out a soft sigh, the noble relaxed slowly into Renji's arms, soothed by the younger man's words. "You are far too good to me," Byakuya murmured against Renji's neck, his hands relaxing and not holding quite as desperately as they were before.
Renji emitted a soft chuckle. "Yeah, well you should be used ta' it by now, ya' damn spoiled noble," he teased good-naturedly.
With a quiet growl, Byakuya nipped the other man's neck. "It's not the same at all," he said with a huff, knowing Renji was teasing but feeling the need to point that out anyway.
The redhead gave a soft rumble reminiscent of a purr in reaction to the quick bite. "Mm... so you say, Taichou," he parried, having already adopted the moniker as an endearment.
"It's not," Byakuya insisted, looking slightly put out. Not having the energy to protest any further than that, the noble mumbled something about Renji being impossible before nuzzling at his neck, absently kissing the spot he had just bitten. Renji smirked at the noble's muttered words and resumed playing with the man's silken black hair, enjoying the light atmosphere that had settled over them.
Leaning his head against Renji's shoulder, Byakuya relaxed beneath the touch, not-so-secretly enjoying when Renji played with his hair. Now he understood why Renji liked days off so much. Lazing about in bed like this was - after so long - quite nice. The noble sighed quietly into the silence and nestled up a bit closer into the other man's broad chest, pale fingers curling around the golden, tattooed skin of his lover's arm. "Your spirit energy seems to be recovering well," he pointed out after another long pause, tracing his thumb along the edge of one tattoo's jagged arch.
"Mmm." Auburn eyes lidded partially as Renji took a moment to assess not only his reiatsu but his body as well. The jagged edge was almost entirely gone, which was surprising as he'd expected it to be there for a few days. All the better, but strange all the same. Zabimaru seemed to have something of a jagged edge still, but the energy had definitely strengthened. That much he'd expected; the zanpakutou was quick to make itself battle ready once more, if not entirely healed. "Better than usual," he finally answered and smiled softly. "Maybe 's you," he added.
"Me?" An elegant eyebrow lifted at the statement as his hand slid down Renji's arm slowly. "I haven't done anything except feed you, and that only does so much."
Renji barked a laugh at that. "Either yer seriously overestimating what I can afford ta' eat, or yer seriously underestimating the effect of a strong reiatsu against a weakened one," he quipped, glancing down at the noble.
If Byakuya hadn't caught himself, he would have rolled his eyes at the comment. "Must you always have a snide comeback to what I say?" he drawled, resisting the urge to tug on Renji's hair in a bout of childish revenge.
"Che, I was givin' ya a comment," Renji countered, smirk still in place as he watched the other man's reaction.
"There is little difference when it comes from you," Byakuya shot back, not resisting this time and tangling his fingers through the red hair that had escaped over Renji's shoulders, tugging lightly. "You should really learn some manners when speaking to your elders," the noble teased.
"How do you know yer my elder?" the redhead shot back. "I don't remember you ever askin' fer my age."
"No, but I can tell easily," the captain returned with a small smirk. "Even if I had not actually read the file on you when you joined my Division - it's the length of a novel, by the way - I could tell the age difference simply by your character."
"The onmitsukidou must be bored. I know I never wrote that much," Renji answered with a light snort. "An' if you're judgin' on character, Kyoraku-Taichou would be half my age and Hitsugaya-Taichou twice it," he jokingly pointed out.
"They enjoy pointing out every little mistake you've ever made, I think." Threading his fingers more securely in Renji's hair, Byakuya gave another light tug, this time bringing him down into a fleeting kiss. "And I try not to compare you to my peers... seeing as most of them are not worth the time."
"That must be a novel, then," the redhead murmured, allowing himself to be drawn into the kiss. "I'm surprised you let me join, though, if that's really what's in my file."
"I surprised myself," the noble admitted, "but I am glad for my decision now." A slight shift forward brought their lips together again and this time, Byakuya savored it for a bit longer.
"As am I..." Renji breathed, returning the kiss affectionately.
Relaxing completely into the kiss, Byakuya's eyes slid shut and his reiatsu coiled into a steady, rolling purr against Renji's. Perhaps Renji would get that day off tomorrow; what the redhead had dealt with today alone warranted it. A pity he wouldn't have the chance to enjoy it with Renji, considering missing two days of work in a row would be entirely too suspicious.
~~
OMAKE
---
Kira: 20:50:22
(Sen-chan's like "I know you're not this dense, wtf" )
Gali: 20:50:40
(byakuya's just being a stubborn little bitch T_T)
Kira: 20:50:51
(He's good at it)
Gali: 20:52:40
(yeah he is. ._.)
Gali: 20:52:43
(*eats him*)
Kira: 20:52:48
(! o.o )
Kira: 20:52:55
(You can't eat Byakuya!)
Gali: 20:53:05
(yes i can XD)
Renji: *comes back from running errands and notes giant pile of leaves that had been raked up 'cause it's fall..and that Byakuya is near them* >D *jumps in 'em*
Byakuya: *was peacefully reading* ....-_-; *but now has leaves all over him*
Renji: ^^ *gets out..shakes himself off..and jumps in again but this time by way of pounce-on-Byakuya* XD
Byakuya: T___T *omg wtf*
Renji: *proceeds with molestation b/c captain = too cute when flustered*
Gali: 16:29:48
i lack diet coke, though T__T *cry*
Gali: 16:30:45
*smushes sen-chan in her frustration because he's purty and smushable*
Kira: 16:31:02
Sen-chan: t_t
Kira: 16:31:06
Poor guy takes all the damage
Gali: 16:31:14
Zabimaru: Hey! *snatches him away*
Gali: 16:33:13
aww, it's okay. he gets lovin'.